students of jesus

“I think that, when I die, it might be some time until I know it.” ~ Dallas Willard 

Imagine a walk with God so natural and relaxed it makes no difference whether you are at his house or yours. Imagine sharing your life with God—and God sharing his life with you. Ask Enoch: sometimes the journey and the destination become one. It’s the mark of transformed heart, a saint living in God’s presence moment by moment. It’s a destination available even in the journey.

In human relationships there is a distance between two souls, even souls committed and persevering. Thirty years of marriage leaves me staring in wonder at the depth of our mutual love, but I am also amazed at the separation. We can finish each other’s sentences and predict the next words on our lips, and yet surprise one another with thoughts unimagined: fears and slights and hurts and misunderstandings. 

There is one relationship, though, where one soul inhabits another. King David marveled at the otherness—and the closeness—of the Creator:

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain. ~ Psalm 139:1-6

The “man after God’s own heart” opens this famous psalm overwhelmed at the nearness of God, but closes the very same Psalm with a demonstration of his distance from God's heart:

Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting. ~ verses 21-24

In his attempt to show solidarity with God, David reveals the distance between them. David invites God to test and know his anxious thoughts, completely unaware that his hatred for others has already put the the difference on display. Anne Lamott said it well: "You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

If it’s true (and it is) that the Spirit of God comes to live within the human heart, then our greatest need is a heart big enough to host his infinite, loving presence. Even the grandest abode is a tiny Lego shack when the God of forever is knocking. Let’s join our brother Augustine in a prayer fit for every age, “Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter in.”