My Ugly/Beautiful Whore/Mother Church
Tuesday, March 15, 2011 at 11:44AM I'm thrilled to present this guest post by my friend Caleb Neff. Part of the fun of being a Baby Boomer is being schooled by guys in their mid-twenties, like Caleb. He's the real deal.
I like The Bachelor. I know it’s shallow and awful, but I can’t stop. I even went on Hulu last week to catch part of an episode I missed. Now that I confessed it, can I throw someone under the bus? I started watching the Bachelor because my wife likes it. At first I would pretend to be reading or playing guitar, but eventually I just gave in.
When you love someone, you grow to love what they love. Ephesians 5:25 says: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
We often make a big deal about how Jesus loves individuals, which is really important and true. But in the Bible, those individuals are called together as His church, the bride he died for and is coming back for. Jesus deeply loves the church. He is passionately committed to the church. When Jesus talks about the church his voice goes up a notch, his pulse beats faster and there are tears and fire in his eyes--just like when you are sharing about whatever is closest to your heart.
This is why my brain misfires a bit when someone says to me, “I love Jesus, I just don’t care for the church.” They launch into all their issues and frustrations, which are all really valid, but I sit there thinking, “How could I truly love my wife, and at the same time be totally against and actually filled with disgust for the thing that she loves the most?” That would be some kind of dysfunctional relationship.
Sunday after our last service ended I stood at the front of the building surveying “the wreckage:” people still getting prayer over here, people laughing over there, kids running around, people in our welcome center getting connected in groups, new friendships being made, one person who had just made a first time commitment to Christ received her first Bible. My eyes started to well up with tears. I just couldn’t stop thinking, “Jesus loves this stuff.” Really. Not just in the cliché way that we think about him loving kitty-cats. I think he chest-bumps angels when someone gets over their fear and walks through the doors for the first time, or when someone nervously signs up for their first small group.
I’ll be the first to tell you that the church has weaknesses. We have some awful flaws. But when I think of Augustine’s quote, “the church is a whore, and it is my mother,” I think many, many people only see the whore. They look at this whore/church and feel the justification to do what the religious leaders in John 8 would’ve wanted to do to the woman caught in adultery: judge her, stone her, and then (feeling very righteous indeed) wipe the dust of their feet on her dead body. All of this in front of an adoring public. These same people want to create a “real” church, one “filled with the grace and love of God.”
It reminds me of that movie The Village, where some really intelligent people think they are going to escape the brokenness of modern society by setting up an autonomous collective in the woods and living without technology. The problem is, evil doesn’t come from “out there.” Evil comes from within our hearts. As they say in AA: “wherever you go, there you are.” You can’t slam the door quickly enough or run far or fast enough to get away from your own heart. G.K. Chesterton once wrote an award-winning essay in response to the prompt, “What’s wrong with the world today?” He simply responded, “I am.”
That’s the lesson the people in The Village had to learn, and it’s the lesson many Christians need to learn: stop throwing stones. You’re the problem. I’m the problem. We’re all equally broken. If by some miracle you found the perfect church out there, you’d ruin it by attending. Stop trying to create The Village of an emerging church, a house church, or whatever the next hot trend will be.
I mean to say this as lovingly as I can: grow up. Look in the mirror. You have flaws too, and they’re hideous. Most of us have no problem with the fact that God keeps loving us, even though we are big arrogant jerks that keep making the same mistakes, but if the church we attend screws up once, we’re out of there.
I’m not advocating staying in a church that is manipulative and off track, but there are actually very few of those. Mostly what you’ll find is groups of people that love Jesus passionately but are weak, broken hypocrites (like you). Find a church like that and dive in headfirst. A big part of the reason that you keep looking for an awesomely hip church is that you are insecure, like a high school kid looking for a cool group of people to associate with, to help you feel cool.
I’m not saying the church isn’t a whore. I’m saying we should start by asking Jesus how He feels about her. We should follow that up by looking in the mirror and asking if the problem isn’t that the same things that annoy us most about others isn’t the same things we ourselves struggle with. Finally, I’m suggesting that if you stop beating on the church for a minute and start serving her, if you kneel down in a moment of humility and wipe off her bloody, broken face, you might see your mom.
Caleb Neff is an associate pastor, worship leader, and mistake maker at the Vineyard Community Church in Cape Coral, Florida. www.capevineyard.com
Reader Comments (10)
REAL. SO real. True definition to what everybody needs to be accounted for. You have pointed out what SEEMS to be obvious but what nobody wants to admit. Keep up the sincerity and leadership a true ugly follower of Jesus should be like. We all thank you.
I needed that!!!! Times in my life I have struggled with things like this, church doesn't feed me, they don't nurture me, and I am able to point out all their flaws rather quickly while at the heart of all things they are in pursuit of the same one we call our Lord who served the broken healed the sick and spent time with the thieves of his age to heal those with broken and weary hearts. Though broken and flawed we have the opportunity through grace to pursue his face. We do not attend church because the type of music it has that tickles our fancy, even though we have our own flavor but much rather to worship the one who bore our sins. Its all about Him and not us, He is calling us to serve when we have no strength, calling us to love when we cannot, calling us to worship the one who deserves it all Jesus. We need to remember who the church is people who are broken and not as perfect as myself. But we must love for the sake of the cross for the sake of Jesus and start in ourselves and remember that God can use any church for His glory thank you caleb
What a beautiful post. Indeed, WE are the church; the Body of Christ is us - flaws & failures, compassion & community.
Thank you
I can't wait to see Jesus chest bump with angels! I am a fellow " Mistake Maker " too. I know I am human, broken, flawed and weak, and so is the rest of the church. But thank God, He is in control. We are so messed up, but that is reality. No church is perfect because no one person is perfect. But our Lord is and thats all that matters!
Very well said. The lack of extension of Christ's love and grace in the church is preventing the move of God in many lives. I saw this first hand while praying for a pastor's wife, who turned into a puddle of sobbing tears, because she couldn't be real with anyone, not even her pastor husband. How sad. And unfortunately, after ministering to her, she put her "face" back on and went back to the way it was... God help us to not throw stones at each other!
So were you happy Brad ended up w/ Emily;) Very well said post. I especially liked the title--got my attention!! It really gets on my nerves when I invite friends to church and I get the "Lightning will strike!" response. Church should be the #1 place people look to for grace and it's so sad that it's often the last. A long time ago, I decided I wanted to be part of a church where homeless people feel comfortable. Am happy to say I've found that now. I love my UGLY church:):)
No, I was not happy with the pick of Emily, and as you could tell from the after-show thing, it's not going to work out. He missed it- Chantal was the real deal.
To the last "anon' poster - I agree that this is one of the key issues that prevents the move of the Holy Spirit, who loves unity. If we can't stop throwing stones at each other, it doesn't bode well for our mission to go love the world.
Very well said. The lack of extension of Christ's love and grace in the church is preventing the move of God in many lives. I saw this first hand while praying for a pastor's wife, who turned into a puddle of sobbing tears, because she couldn't be real with anyone, not even her pastor husband. How sad. And unfortunately, after ministering to her, she put her "face" back on and went back to the way it was... God help us to not throw stones at each other!
REAL. SO real. True definition to what everybody needs to be accounted for. You have pointed out what SEEMS to be obvious but what nobody wants to admit. Keep up the sincerity and leadership a true ugly follower of Jesus should be like. We all thank you.
What a beautiful post. Indeed, WE are the church; the Body of Christ is us - flaws & failures, compassion & community.
Thank you