Leaving the Church
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 12:45PM “I have more grace for people who have dropped out of church than ever before. Most of what we do on a Sunday morning involves 3-10 people talking, playing instruments, doing something; while everyone else (100-5,000 or so) literally sit and spectate. That's a mess.” ~ Samuel Yoder
“My wife and I have been on a journey to figure out what it means to be the church instead of just going to one.” ~ Chad Estes
“I am also concerned about the drawbacks of not joining with a group of believers on a regular basis.” ~ Ed Cyzewski
These are just a few of the comments from excellent conversation started when Jon Reid posted a thought-provoking piece about learning to love the very church leaders with whom he disagreed. If you are so inclined, you can follow this life-giving discussion by starting with Beautiful People?, Forget it: I’m Going to the Pub, and A Big Question that Matters Every Day.
Over the last two weeks we’ve been discussing the impact of the church on the lives of individual believers. Everyone has opinions about the church. Among Evangelicals these days, most of these opinions are negative. The focus of the Students of Jesus blog is about how an individual becomes a disciple of the Jesus Christ, so the discussion over the past few weeks has not been about the church in general, it’s been about each of us and our ability to follow Jesus--with or without the church.
What impact should the church have on our life with Jesus? In the book of Acts we read about the vibrant spiritual lives of the first believers. We read about incredible fellowship among Christians, testimonies of powerful works, and world-changing faith. It’s clear that the inspired scriptures push us toward an organized community of faith, possessing it’s own singular identity even as it’s comprised of individual Christians. When we look up from our reading and see the 21st century our experiences fall short of the Biblical model. Breathtakingly short. Heartbreakingly short. Nearly everyone agrees that the weekly sit-and-listen mentality is not life-giving, nor does it realize the Biblical ideal.
And yet, here’s my concern: After 40 years of walking with God I have met plenty of unhealthy Christians who belong to a church, but I have never met a healthy Christian who does not belong to a church. What are we to do with this? The currently popular solution is to hang out informally with our believing friends and declare, “This is my church. These people know me and love me. I receive nothing from organized religion.”
I get it. The North American church is desperately sick, and in many cases the church hinders the spiritual growth of believers. But before we all decide have wine and cheese with the cool kids and call it church, I’d like to suggest that God has given us a few clues about what He thinks makes up a church. It’s really a book-length discussion--a life-length discussion, actually--but since we’ve invested four blog posts on the idea, here is one man’s list of at least six church disctinctives:
- The church meets together regularly: Sunday morning isn’t the only possibility. In fact, Acts 2:42-47 suggests they met together far more than North Americans might find comfortable. In a variety of settings, for a multitude of reasons, followers of Jesus meet together regularly and share their lives together.
- The church has a defined structure: Structure is built into God’s order of creation. Single-celled organisms reveal astonishing complexity of function; in the human body there is individualized function. Without the structure of a skeleton, the body cannot stand. These physical realities point toward spiritual truth. Amazingly, the scripture seems to endorse a variety of church structures, but every New Testament church had a recognizable structure. We can disagree on what that structure may look like, but it’s not possible to read Acts or the Espistles without recognizing it’s importance.
- The church provides authority: “Authority.” Just mention the word and people tense up! I feel the need to mention again that this blog site is not about big “ecclesiological” questions. Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant, we all must personally come to terms with passages like, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” (Hebrews 13:17) Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus could be considered all about authority! Nearly everyone has a horror-story about abuse of authority in the church. It’s worth noting that authority without compassion and relationship makes a sham of God’s Kingdom, but compassion and relationship without authority misses God’s Kingdom entirely.
- The church is a proving ground for love and forgiveness. “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3: 12-14) How can we live these words out apart from our families, or the church--which is the family of God?
- The church equips God’s people. Christian maturity requires a nurturing family atmosphere. Gifts of the Holy Spirit and the development of Christian character thrive in a healthy community. Entertainment apart from equipping is antithetical to God’s plan for the church. If there's no equipping going on, it's not fully the church. It’s lab, not lecture, and it's not recess, either.
- The church provides a unique corporate witness: The have been exceptional individuals throughout history. Saints and geniuses larger than life, and because they are are so exceptional, they are easily dismissed as individuals, even freaks. But who could dismiss an entire community of faith? “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another,” said Jesus in John 13: 34 “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” The early church would either get you healed or care for you until you died. WIdows, orphans and outcasts of the first century knew there was a refuge called “the church.”
Object if you will: it’s easy to do. The church has failed in every area. Today’s post is not a defense of the way things are. The church in North America is desperately sick. Something must change--and I believe the change begins with us as individuals. If you must leave your current church, then go. But where? If you can find a group of believers attempting to fulfill these ideals you will land in a safe place. Leaving a sick church may be the best decision. Ignoring God’s plan for your personal growth as a disciple never is.
Reader Comments (15)
Ray, I think you're right on. It's such a painful subject because the Church is such a messy Body. I'm grappling with this issue. THANK you for your thoughts and wisdom as usual, brother.
good word p ray. All i've ever known about Church is that it is a place to be encouraged and where faith grows.
I think one thing that really inhibits people in our western culture from receiving from the body of the Church as a whole is a lack of trust in people and in leaders. In america it seems like we value criticism (which elevates ourselves as the God/life expert) rather than honor (which humbles us to a place where we can receive from people).
Revelation 12:11 says that we overcome the devil by the Blood of the Lamb and by the word of THEIR testimony. "Their" is a significant word because it reveals that the faith that you need to overcome spiritual blindness and fear can only be received when you embrace and celebrate what God has done with somebody else.
What is our culture's strength in that it values and encourages each person to be themselves and not fit a certain status quo, is also our cultures weakness in that it elevates the individual above the community, thus creating a rift where one cannot receive the benefit of another person's relationship with God.
Interdependency, which is rooted upon the truth that we actually need each other to grow and have the fullness of life, is something that God is personally teaching me and I believe something that He will reveal to the Church.
I was going to comment that there is no "biblical model" for the church, but now I think you've proved me wrong. Those guidelines are solid and well-thought out. I still think they'll be applied in a diverse number of ways, but overall I think you're right on.
Thanks Laurie! That's encouraging!
Grinder: I'm thrilled your experiences are positive. That's *very* good news. Your use of Revelation is enlightening, because even in the eschaton there is apparently order, structure, and authority (24 elders and such), yet each one is valued and celebrated by God himself! As you've pointed out, I think we've ha North American individual blinders on for generations.
Ed: I have so appreciated your input. When you said "I still think they'll be applied in a diverse number of ways," I certainly hope so, because I think he's a really big God with all kinds of children!
"I have never met a healthy Christian who does not belong to a church."
Ray, you need to get out more! There are tons of healthy, growing, maturing, fruit-producing Christ followers who don't belong to an institutional church. I'd like to think I'm one, but I know for a fact my wife is.
Recall, Shepherd, that the Lutherans left their authority; as did those booted out from their flocks for experiencing the Holy Spirit in the 70s, as did those who left authoritarian church models in the 80s in a response to "discipleship" teachings, etc. They ... *left*. And in hindsight we can see they left ** in response to the Holy Spirit's movings upon them **.
That leaving might not have been the best -- the best might have been "institutional" reform (just as "the best" for an unfaithful spouse might be reconciliation to the faithful one) -- but if all that can be had is some lesser good, this is still better than silencing things like "sola gratis, gifs of the Spirit, or the believer's freedoms" - examples correspondent to my historical remembrances above.
Chad: It's hard to "get out more" when you live in the middle-of-nowhere, Kentucky! I'm so far out in the sticks our local movie theater is still showing "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Blessings to you and you wife!
Charles: I'm OK with people leaving an established authority structure. The "established" one may toxic. My point is that there is a need for authority in God's church, which is another reason hanging out at the pub with Christian friends doesn't constitute a church. I do, however, know of believers who feel called to remain in what they call "a dying denomination" because they feel called to honor the authority it represents. Good for them. As always, Peace!
i agree with the point on authority, and i think, as Grinder pointed out, that because of our emphasis in the west is on the individual and on majority rule, we get nervous at the authority thing. not just in the church, but everywhere. some of our hesitation has real legitimacy - having seen loved ones or ourselves or friends become victims of someone who used their authority in the church for perversion, greed, control, ego etc. even so, it's wrong to draw a straight line between one or even a handful of bad leaders to all leaders (if we think like that about ethnicity it is called racism).
Jesus commanded us to not be *like* the world in our leadership (top-down), but didn't tell us to give up all forms of leadership. The point was that as leaders we serve - then he cited himself as the ultimate example, and gives some metaphors including a waiter. Interestingly, in this context, we notice how quick Jesus was to stand up to all sorts of folks - including Ray's friend Pete when, out of his own understanding, Pete tried to keep Jesus from going to Jerusalem to die. Also, Jesus was decisive, telling the other 9 disciples that they couldn't come with his selected three (Pete, James, John) for bunches of inner circle ministry trips and the mount of transfiguration. Had i been among them, I would have gotten jealous and thought, Jesus isn't really looking out for my interest here, he's playing favorites, i want to do that stuff too! So being a guy that waits at tables (how Jesus described himself) in authority doesn't mean pleasing everyone...it's something deeper. I think if we're going to think about authority appropriately we need to be careful at Americanizing the Jew Jesus ; )
peace. you guys rock.
Shepherd: This is confusing... it's ok to leave your authority ... but one needs .... to have some authority that's provided. This is all a bit murky to me. At some point maybe we should define when the authority is not an "authority" -- leaving aside (because it is a different question) things like abuse of authority.
Hi Charles:
First of all, my name is Ray--you're welcome to use my name whenever you want! :-)
Second: the only point I was trying to make about authority was within the context of those who think ditching the organized church in favor of "hanging out with friends" is OK. I was merely trying to point out my reading of Biblical church includes authority--which can take on many shapes. I really, really (really!) detest abuses of authority, but that's not my subject. Suffer with me while I quote myself: "authority without compassion and relationship makes a sham of God’s Kingdom, but compassion and relationship without authority misses God’s Kingdom entirely."
One of the great damages of abuse of authority is those who are wounded tend to reject any authority--I understand--they've been hurt. But my understanding of a Biblical view of church includes some kind of authority structure. These posts have been about us as individuals: when we mistake hanging out together informally for "church."
Ray (you can call me Charles, as you have been - but I call you "shepherd" ... by way of, believe it or not, identifying you as an "authority) .. :)
Agreed totally. The problem I have with the VY, Sovereign Grace Ministries, etc. is that *because* of poorly construed notions of "authority" it becomes an end in itself. We need more clearly articulated understandings and theologies, or we will wind up with men "in authority" who have no other pedigree than an ability to fit into a structure.
No argument from me on that account. I'm just a simple country parson in Kentucky. No one ever asks me for input on Vineyard structure or theology, so I try to love the folks at home, and write a blog about personal discipleship. Come to think of it, I probably wouldn't even want to play at the "macro" level.
I also answer to, "hey you."
Hey, you: you are clocking in and taking a sick day. Your authority comes from your ordination as a pastor in the Vineyard, it seems. Or does it come from somewhere else?
Well, if the subject is what constitutes a church, I can say in the most simple way that all churches have some sort of an authority structure--which has always been the point of this thread.
As to the source of authority, certainty my Vineyard ordination caries weight within the Vineyard, but I don't get many invitations to minister at Baptist churches!
As a bonus, I'll confess that the question of "ordination" is one about which I am pretty much clueless. Paul addresses the elders in Ephesus and uses the phrase, "of which the Holy Spirit made you overseers" (Acts 20:28). Yet he sends Titus to "appoint" elders (Titus 1:5). Yet again Barnabas and Paul seemed to have been commissioned in an action of the Spirit which grew out of some sort of existing authority structure. (Acts 16:1-3)
All of these point to reasons I am clueless, though I must confess a real lack of charity toward trans-local authority structures, especially "Apostolic networks." But that may just be me. It also moves us away from the focus of Students of Jesus, which is about individual spiritual formation. Peace!
Recall, Shepherd, that the Lutherans left their authority; as did those booted out from their flocks for experiencing the Holy Spirit in the 70s, as did those who left authoritarian church models in the 80s in a response to "discipleship" teachings, etc. They ... *left*. And in hindsight we can see they left ** in response to the Holy Spirit's movings upon them **.
That leaving might not have been the best -- the best might have been "institutional" reform (just as "the best" for an unfaithful spouse might be reconciliation to the faithful one) -- but if all that can be had is some lesser good, this is still better than silencing things like "sola gratis, gifs of the Spirit, or the believer's freedoms" - examples correspondent to my historical remembrances above.